From Hemmings reader Vance Mehlenbacher in Camrose, Alberta, Canada:
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and in the garage
There sat in the corner, a classic old Dodge
My sixty nine Charger, near ready to go
To all of next season’s burnouts and shows
Its perfect black body, with a white R/T stripe
Red leather interior, the seats are just right
A pistol grip shifter coming up through the floor
Now hooked to a six speed, not five, and not four.
It sits with the hood up, not quite running yet
The problem elusive, but simple I bet
The four-two-six HEMI of legend and lore
“Why won’t you run? I can’t take it no more.”
Now freshly rebuilt, this elephant mill
Just thinking about it gives me a chill
All of that horsepower, all of that torque
I can’t make it run. I feel like a dork.
I’m about to turn in, and go off to bed
Thinking a good sleep should help clear my head
When ever so slightly, I hear someone’s laughter
And jingle bells ringing, and hooves pitter-patter
“Is this for real?” I thought to myself
Could it be? The jolly old elf?
I opened the side door and had a look out
The sleigh that I saw removed any doubt
Across the street, he was making the rounds
Rooftop to rooftop, in leaps and bounds
Then he was gone, but the sleigh still remained
For what happened next, I’ll have to explain
As I turned around, what do you know
Santa Claus himself, the star of the show
Was standing there, grinning, right there by the car
His pearly whites glistening, reflecting like stars
I stammered “S-Santa?!” And he started to snicker
I took a deep breath to calm down my ticker
He was checking it over, no angle undone
And then he said nicely, “Can I hear it run?”
I hated to say it, had no other choice
This problem I had with my Charger’s voice
“I wish that we could, but I’m afraid not tonight.
It’ll turn over, but it simply won’t light.I know it’s ignition, of this I’m sure.
But I’m out of ideas. Do you have a cure?”
He pondered a moment, then scratched his chin.
“I have an idea. Why don’t you jump in?”
I climbed in the car as he fiddled around
And he said “Aha! You have a bad ground.
This wire on the coil should be attached here.”
And over he moved it, without any fear.
“Hit it!” he said, his grin growing wide
I pushed in the clutch and let out a sigh
I wiggled the shifter and hit the ol’ key…
And it fired at once. I howled with glee!
The exhaust is so loud it rattles the walls
Santa yelled over it, “I bet this thing hauls!”
I killed it and jumped out, unable to speak
Santa had fixed it with one little tweak!
“You know about cars?” I finally asked.
“Oh, yes!” he replied. “My veins run with gas.
I work but one night, so with my spare time
I tinker and wrench, it sharpens the mind.
I have a collection that rivals the best
It’s my preferred hobby when I am at rest.”
I shook his hand thank you, we nodded goodbye
And with that he vanished in the blink of an eye.
As I went in to head off to bed,
I thought about everything Santa had said
Turns out he’s a car guy! And now that you know,
Perhaps you’ll see him – at your next show!
Friday, December 25:
7:00am – 10:00am: San Diego – Hot Rod Holly’s Christmas Morning Cruise #5 – KUSI, 4575 Viewridge Ave, San Diego, CA 92123, United States
7:30am – 9:30am: Roseville – Townsmen Car Club Of Sacramento Weekly Breakfast – Denny’s, 122 Sunrise Avenue, Roseville, CA 95661, United States
8:30am – 10:00am: Rancho Cucamonga – Kalvin’s Donuts Meetup – 9721 Baseline Rd, Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91730, USA
3:00pm – 10:00pm: Burbank – Bob’s Big Boy – 4211 Riverside Dr, Burbank, CA 91505, USA
4:00pm – 8:00pm: Buena Park- Classic Car Fridays – Elks Lodge, 7212 Melrose Street, Buena Park, CA 90621, United States
4:00pm – 8:00pm: Garden Grove – Historic Main Street Cruise Night – 12891 Historic Main Street, Garden Grove, LA
5:00pm – 8:00pm: Upland – Historic Downtown Upland Friday Night Cruise – 9th and 2nd, Upland, CA, United States
Saturday, December 26:
All day: Fontana – Exotics Racing – Auto Club Speedway, 9300 Cherry Avenue, Fontana, CA 92335, United States
All day: Willow Springs – Extreme Speed (auto trackday) – Willow Springs Racing, 3500 75th St W, Rosamond, CA 93560, United States
All day: Laguna Seca – Speed SF Events – Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca, 1021 Monterey Salinas Hwy, Salinas, CA 93908, United States
6:00am – 9:00am: Huntington Beach – Donut Derelicts – Magnolia & Adams
6:00am – 9:00am: Tustin – Enderle Center Cars & Coffee – Enderle Center, 14081 S Yorba Street #107, Tustin, CA, 92780
6:30am – 9:30am: San Clemente – Saturday Shake Down – 808 N El Camino Real, San Clemente, CA 92672, USA
7:00am – 9:00am: Aliso Viejo – Cars & Coffee – 26701 Aliso Creek Rd, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656, USA
7:00am – 9:00am: San Clemente – South OC Cars & Coffee – Vista Hermosa & Via Suerte, San Clemente, CA
7:00am – 9:00am: Costa Mesa – Cars & Coffee: The Next Generation – Orange County Market Place, 88 Fair Dr, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, United States
7:00am – 9:00am: Corona – Cars & Coffee – Saleen, 2735 Wardlow Rd, Corona, CA 92882, United States
7:00am – 9:00am: Carlsbad – Cbad Cars – Carlsbad Company Stores 5620 Paseo Del Norte
7:30am – 9:30am: Bonita – Dunkers & Clunkers – 4414 Bonita Rd, Bonita, CA 91902, USA
8:00am – 10:00am: Norco – Norco Cruizers – 2816 Hamner Ave, Norco, CA 92860, USA
9:00am – 12:00pm: San Jose – Santana Row Cars and Caffeine – Santana Row, 377 Santana Row, San Jose, CA 95128, United States
9:00am – 6:00pm: Burbank – Autobooks-Aerobooks Cars and Coffee – Autobooks-Aerobooks, 2900 West Magnolia Boulevard, Burbank, CA 91505, United States
11:00am – 2:00pm: Lake Forest – Car & Bike Show at Scarantino’s – 23862 Bridger Rd, Lake Forest, CA 92630, USA
2:00pm – 5:00pm: Upland – Legends Car Cruise – 2420 W Arrow Route, Upland, CA 91786, USA
5:00pm – 8:00pm: Pomona – Pancakes R Us Cruise – 2282 N Garey Ave, Pomona, CA 91767, USA
6:00pm – 10:00pm: La Habra – Cruise Night At La Habra 300 Bowl – 370 E Whittier Blvd, La Habra, CA 90631, USA
Sunday, December 27:
All day: Willow Springs – Extreme Speed (auto trackday) – Willow Springs Racing, 3500 75th St W, Rosamond, CA 93560, United States
All day: Laguna Seca – Speed SF Events – Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca, 1021 Monterey Salinas Hwy, Salinas, CA 93908, United States
All day: Irwindale – Horseless Carriage Club Holiday Motoring Tour – Irwindale Speedway, 500 Speedway Dr, Irwindale, CA 91706, United States
All day: Buttonwillow – Let’s Ride Track Days – Buttonwillow Raceway Park, 24551 Lerdo Hwy, Buttonwillow, CA 93206, United States
7:00am – 9:00am: Newport Beach – Balboa Car Show at the Fun Zone – 607 W Balboa Blvd, Newport Beach, CA 92661, USA
7:00am – 10:00am: Woodland Hills – Super Car Sunday – Westfield Promenade, 6100 Topanga Canyon Boulevard, Woodland Hills, CA 91367, United States
7:00am – 11:00am: Tustin – Million Dollar Breakfast Cruise – Enderle Center 17th & Yorba St.
7:00am – 1:00pm: Long Beach – So-Cal Cycle Swap Meet – Long Beach City College: Veteran’s Memorial Stadium, 5000 East Lew Davis Street, Long Beach, CA 90808, United States
7:30am – 8:30am: Arcadia – Carcadia @ Route 66 – Denny’s Santa Anita Ave. & Huntington Dr.
8:00am – 11:00am: Seal Beach – Hot Rods at the Beach – Glory Days Seaside Grill – 620 Pacific Coast Hwy
8:00am – 11:00am: Lakewood – Hot Cakes & Hot Rods – Glory Days, 4132 Woodruff Avenue, Lakewood, CA 90713, United States
11:00am – 2:00pm: Santa Ana – Gasoline Alley Customs & Classics Car Show – 100 Main St, Santa Ana, CA 92701, USA
1:00pm – 5:00pm: Camarillo – Sunday Cruise – Old Town Camarillo
1:00pm – 5:00pm: Downey – Classic Cruisers Association – 7447 Firestone Blvd, Downey, CA 90241, USA
1:00pm – 5:00pm: Lakewood – Classic Cruisers Association – Fuddruckers, 5229 Clark Avenue, Lakewood, CA 90712, United States
4:30pm – 8:30pm: Cerritos – The Chariots of Southern California – 10769 South St, Cerritos, CA 90703, USA